These questions about Kenya were posted on a Kenyan Tourism portal and were answered by the website owner.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Kenya? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Nairobi to Nakuru - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometres.. take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Kenya? (Sweden).
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Kenya? Can you send me a list of them in Nairobi and Mombasa? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in Kenya? (USA)
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not...oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Koinange Street. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is north in Kenya? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Kenya? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Do you have perfume in Kenya? (France)
A: No. We don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Kenya? (USA)
A: Anywhere where a significant number of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Kenya where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Kenya? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Are there killer bees in Kenya? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Nairobi and is milk available all year round? (USA)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Kenya who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All Kenyan snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Another one I found today:

Its not for everyone, but what's the toilet paper like in Kenya, is it worth taking your own. I like soft paper.
And do they put it in the bin, as in European counties?

Obviously Aliens have internet access, too

excellent lough carsten! thanks a lot - you made my day!
i don't doubt that these questions bother some strange minds
regarding the last one: where the hell in europe is toilet paper placed in bins?????

I had to laugh about the last question too.
Funnily enough, this is the case here in Athens Athens grew so fast and all illegally, noone bothered to build appropriate sewage pipes. They still exist today in very many areas and would get stuffed if all toilet-paper would be flushed down them. Hence you will find signs in most cafes and restaurants asking you to dispose toilet paper in the bin.

But this is the only place I have heard about so far, and I really wonder where this woman picked it up.

Just too funny that she applied it to the whole Europe

I am too tempted to answer her that importing toilet paper into Kenya is illegal because the use of it is against tribal traditions and locally produced toilet paper is rough like sanding-paper because it is all produced illegally.

Hence, she should reconsider going to Kenya.

Kenya doesn't need such tourists

R E A L L Y ??? i would never ever had thought that there is such a place in europe :-0
and greece belongs to the EU
maybe after bulgaria and rumania took part we might discover some more strange habits